Making friends in college can be scary, especially as a freshman. Not only do you have to wonder about actually making friends, you also should be trying to make the right kind of friends. These friends should be encouraging, supportive and so much more! Sometimes, however, we end up hanging with the wrong crowd, which can be really harmful to our self-esteem and our future. In this post, I am going to share seven signs you might be hanging with the wrong crowd! At the end, I will also share how you can get out of this situation. Let’s get started!
1. They bring you down
The first sign that you are hanging with the wrong crowd is if they are always bringing out down. This can be done by being negative, constantly complaining, or keeping you unmotivated. Each of these three things can have a big impact on the way to see yourself and your college life. Instead of enjoying these four years, your friend’s influence may cause you to see things in a negative light.
2. They are a bad influence
The second sign you might be hanging with the wrong crowd is if they are a bad influence on you. This can range from anything to the way you treat people, the way you feel about yourself, the way you look at your academics, and so much more. Friends have such a big impact in our lives. I once heard a quote that said, “Who your friends are now is who you are becoming.”
Whether you see it or not, the people you spend time with begin to shape who you are. If your friends are always criticizing you for minor “mistakes”, soon you will begin to criticize and look negatively on yourself too. If your friends treat people rudely, in time, you too will begin to treat people in this way. If your friends don’t care about their grades and would rather just scrape by, you can expect to be doing the same in just a few months.
3. They are always causing problems
The third sign that you might be hanging with the wrong crowd is if they are always causing problems. Are they always get into trouble? Do they constantly disrespect other students, professors, or staff members at your school? If so, this is a big sign! As I mentioned above, friends have a big impact on who you are and what you do. Even though you may not participate in these things now, in a few months you will more than likely be joining right in.
4. They aren’t supportive
Another sign that you might be hanging with the wrong crowd is if they aren’t supportive of you and your dreams. If becoming an engineer is something that you really want to do with your life and your friends hit you with negative comments like, “Don’t you have to be smart to do that?” or “Really? Why would you want to do that?” then they may not realize how important this dream is to you. More than likely, they will not be supportive of the work that you have to put into your classes in order to reach that goal. This may leave you feeling incapable and unmotivated to reach your goal. Instead, you need people who love and support your future. Your friends should be cheerleaders for one another!
5. They only like you when you do what they want
Another big sign that you may be hanging with the wrong crowd is if they only want you to do what they want. In order to be their friend, you have to listen to them and do whatever they say. They may even manipulate you into doing what they want by saying that they won’t be your friend otherwise or by calling you names for not wanting to do what they say. These friends will be bossy, judgemental, and will not care about your opinion unless it is the same as theirs.
6. They make you feel like less
Another sign that you may be hanging with the wrong crowd is if they make you feel like less. Whether this is feeling less intelligent, beautiful, healthy, or positive these friends will make you feel like you don’t measure up to their standards. By doing this, you will constantly have to work to gain their friendship and praise. In my opinion, this is no way to live!
These friends will also not care about hurting your feelings or listening to your opinions. Instead, they will cut you down as much as possible and call it all a big joke. They will make you feel like you are just being “too sensitive” about their harsh jokes. This may leave you feeling confused and negative about who you are. When, in reality, you are the best you that you can be!
7. They aren’t there when you need them
One final sign that you may be hanging with the wrong crowd is if they are never there when you need them. If you are in a bind, will your friends drop everything to come help or will you have to ask someone else? When you are upset, can you call your friends for support or will they just tell you that you are being a baby? If your friends don’t help lift you up when you are down, then how can you expect them to do so in the future?
How to get out of this situation:
If while reading this post you discovered that you are hanging out with the wrong crowd, then I just want to encourage you. I understand how heartbreaking it is to love your friends but know that they are a negative influence on you. You may feel like you can change who they are, but trust me when I say that this is something they will have to do for themselves. For now, I just want you to focus on getting out of this situation so that you can be more positive and happy.
In order to get away from the wrong crowd, you are going to need to create some separation. Slowly start to spend less time with this group of negative friends and begin making friends with others. If they start to question why you are pulling away, just tell them the truth: that you realized they were being a negative influence on you and that you still love them but need some distance. Hopefully, they will understand. If not, remember that it is better to be friendless and happy with who you are than to be chasing after someone’s perfect vision of who they want you to be.
My friend, you don’t deserve to be treated like this and you shouldn’t put up with it. There are too many people in the world for you to be friends with people who bring you down. You deserve better. I know that getting out of the wrong crowd is tough. Trust me, I’ve done it before, and it was not easy. Throughout the process, however, I was able to learn so much about myself, and I hope that you will too.
Have you been hanging with the wrong crowd? What have you learned by reading this post?
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